Thoughts: A Melody in Words

So, here are my thoughts...

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Don't you get it? I am too smart to have any thoughts. Alright, at least, let's say that I am funny.

 

But my humour is too smart for most people to get? AGHHHHHHH. Am I being arrogant? AHHHHHHHHHH. I am out of focus.

 

My thoughts are scattered. Let's regain some focus. There is a lot going on in my mind. Each thought trying to get more of a space in the center of my conscious self. And all I really want is to find peace. Should I try to meditate? Why does time slown down or speed up? Why is time so slow right now?

 

I am in love. In love with the thought of love. And it makes me sick to think that there is not such a thing as love. It truly breaks my heart. But I prefer not to focus on that.

 

I am sure there are good people around that are able to love. I can only hope.

 

And then we arrive to sex. Why are women so cold to me? Or am I cold to them? Sex is a part of life that which I am not familiar with but that which I look forward to. And yet, why is the world so cold to me when it comes to this part of life?

 

My thoughts gather around. They ask for a piece of me. I should meditate. I should find peace. I should love myself no matter what happens, I must realize that my worth is bigger than infinity. That the worth of myself as a person is boundless.

 

I can't help but to compare myself to others and this hurts me and I know it. I have always competed and I always will but it is true that I should try and not to care so much about it.

 

I am happy most of the time. Can finding love make me happier even? Maybe even having sex? Of course, it can, then why don't I look for it? But I do just not that hard. I am not used to working hard on those things.

 

My thoughts gather around. They ask of me. To deliver. My thoughts want to become action. They are like a storm. They are picking up in strength. They are wild and they will cause destruction. I want to yell. I want to let it out. It will cause a great commotion and much awe. I should take a moment to change perspective. Let's look ahead, what will happen after the storm? I hope I can be stronger and more mentally sane. More experienced. And more able to understand. To understand the world, humans and those various physical processes that makes the world go round.

 

After the storm, I shall climb back to the mountain that which the storm forced me off. Perhaps even climb higher. I am nothing if not resilient.

 

Love. Love. Passion. Strength. Kindness. Understanding. Wisdom. Transformassion. Love. Care. These are my favorite words. They are my mantra.

 

Grow grow grow grow grow grow.

 

My thoughts. They can shape my destiny. After all, my friend ghandi once said, "Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior. Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.”

 

To keep my thoughts positive. To still believe in people and love, right? Right? 

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Comments (7)

  1. shadowstarz

    Arrogance, won’t get you friendship, women, love and/ or sex, unless what you’re seeking has no foundation of mutual respect ! I don’t perceive you as arrogant, if that counts.
    .
    The key to a loving relationship is trust & playfulness, without that as the glue, you’ll be stifled by insecurities that’ll tear you apart.
    .
    Hopefully, the earth shattering sex you experience is just that – shattering, to renew your perception on how imperative feeling & touch is in a loving relationship. Just breath and allow yourself to love, and be loved, lovingly…

    September 09, 2016
    1. Dino01

      I am glad you took the the time to read my scattered thoughts. It is a way to vent which I have been needing for awhile. I am not feeling so well lately. I am in what you may call a “moral crisis”.

      Yes, I haven’t had good luck with women yet. I hope that as I work towards making myself more attractive, I would be able to find more success. Though, before that I would like first to find peace with myself again.

      Sex is definitely something I am looking forward to. Definitely. And I hope it is as nice as I imagine it to be. Specially when it happens with a girl I really care about.

      Thanks for reading!

      September 10, 2016
      1. shadowstarz

        You’re welcome ! If you’re deliberating over a moral dilemma, you’ll have to weigh up the good vs the bad, and draw your conclusions from there. I dunno if I believe in luck when it comes to finding the right person. You either click with someone, or you don’t. You either want to be with that person, or you don’t. It’s always a choice that you choose as opposed to being lucky. You shouldn’t have to feel compelled to work towards making yourself more attractive as the right one will see you for who you are, and love you anyway, irrespective of any flaws you may perceive within yourself. Peace, and finding your inner calm is imperative to your well-being, holistically; mind, body and soul. I hope you find that place of calm, deep within. Sex, is only beautiful when you feel something deeply for the one you’re sharing that with. If there’s not emotion attached to it, it’s just a release for stress or whatever. Here’s hoping you don’t get stuck in a cycle experiencing the latter with the callous folk who don’t share the same values. Best wishes to you !

        September 11, 2016
        1. Dino01

          Thank your for your support! Finding a good relationship can be a very hard thing to do. Anyway, I appreciate you sharing your wisdom with me. Best wishes to you as well.

          May 15, 2017
          1. shadowstarz

            Peace be unto you… 🌻😎🌞

            May 15, 2017
  2. cristinapwatkins

    This good that you are happy most of the time. But more happiness can also become the cause of death of the heart. This is the saying of some of the great person in the history and aussiessay writing reviews on it. Sorry cannot mention the name of the big personality because it is out of my mind.

    May 15, 2017
    1. Dino01

      I think more happiness only makes your heart bigger because you get to share more of your happiness with others. More happiness will only be bad when you only feel happiness and no sadness. When you cant feel empathy towards others. Because it will mean that you don’t really care about one way or the other. But you can feel pain while being happy. If you lose close someone to you, you will pain but you can also be happy to have known an amazing person and all the time you spent with them.

      May 15, 2017