Once upon a time....Haha, okay let me start over.
Once upon a time, I felt like happiness wasn't a big deal. For those of you who know me, I have had the ridiculous goal of being the smartest person in the world for awhile now. Way back when, I didn't think happiness wasn't going to help me reach that goal So, I thought, happiness, who cares? I shall be sad if that makes me more intelligent.
Naturally/somehow I became depressed. But even when I was depressed, I would read a lot and learn new things everyday. It is kind of funny to think of a depressed person who enjoys reading, learning, thinking about life and its many seemingful contradictions.
Looking back, I think it was a growing time for me. I surely learned and experienced many situations, feelings and thoughts that will be useful to me now and in the future. My dad opened up to me, I saw mother cry really badly. Mainly, I found out that I didn't want to make people who really care about me miserable. I learned. So, that phase of my life had a happy ending according to my most important life goal.
So, now. After being sad, it is time to feel happiness. By being happy, feeling happy, and by also having experienced deep sadness, I conclude that happiness is better than sadness. I suppose everyone can agree with that. I think overall I haven't been happier since when I was a kid (most kids are pretty happy). So, life is good and I have expectations that life will be even better in the future (I hope I am not jinxing anything (fucking Drumpf)).
Of course, I won't base my happiness if it was in turn based on something pretty illogical (i.e. my happiness is not based in god). I base my happiness in realism and optimism. I base my happiness on perspective, on the things I choose to focus on.
You see I find happiness in many aspects of my life.
I find happiness on beliving in myself. I CAN. I can accomplish my goals. I can be the smartest person in the world (after much work). I can find someone who I can share my happiness with. I CAN.
I find happiness in knowledge. I find happiness in exercise and having a healthy diet. I find happiness in growth. I find my happiness on the small things in life. Like a good song. Like how the wind feels. Like how beautiful the clouds look on my way to work. Like experiencing positive and powerful feelings that I don't think I can properly explain with words (who needs drugs?).
I find my happiness on the big things in life as well. My family. On being able to see and appreciate the potential which all humans have to be good and great.
I am happy because I can find many things I can be grateful for in my life. I appreciate life and all the good that which it can offer. Of course, there are also bad things in life. And I have to experience them and get over them. But I base my happiness on the belief that I can manage any difficult situation. That it will not be the end of the world. That I can understand why the bad thing happened. And that I can learn and a become better person because of it.
I find happiness on giving myself the permission to feel all that I feel. By giving myself the permission to be sad when I have reasons for it. It also brings peace and happiness to believe that in the future, I won't feel sad about unimportant things anymore and because if I do feel sad about something, I will be able to move on quicker.
What's the opposite of depression?
Yall behave while I go read some books.