Dear Lovely One

I have glasses. They don't only make me look smart, they make me smart. I am done trying to be funny, oh dear lovely one.

 

Of course, you will never read what I write in here. At least, I hope you never do because that's just weird. Even though, you won't read this, I shall pay tribute to what my heart considers the most beautiful feminine character that which it found in you.

 

The pace and the tone in which your words were said while you were telling me about your goals was better than heaven could ever be. You had that slight hesitation of whether I will make fun of you if you reveal your goal. I did make fun of you a little bit but I was mostly amazed.

 

"My most important goal in my life right is to improve my relationships with others", you said.

 

I am afraid I quiet didn't get it when you told me until perhaps now. I think you cherished the people around you and simply want to get along better with them. You made me realize how much better one's life could be with good people around you. For that, you must be good at forming relationships. Basic, yet it was hard for me to make that connection back then. I was a loner and I liked my loneliness...except for the desire of your occasional companionship.

 

You are married now but that is besides the point. I perhaps just wish to express that I get it now. And though I can't say my most important goal right now is to improve my relationships with others, I can say it is one of my top goals. I feel like I am almost following your lead and that by meeting you, you helped me in someway have such a goal. I feel like I am already half way there.

 

Dear oh lovely one.

 

I am still lonely you see. You must understand, as anybody must understand, people wish to have mates. I am a bit lazy when it comes to social interactions but I am going to have to give it my all at some point. I wouldn't want the loneliness to be too much to bear.

 

And this is when I say good bye, dear lovely one. I wish we had more moments together. But I am happy to remember and cherished the few moments we had together.

 

And so I should talk to myself now. Nothing less strange than what I was doing. I wonder if I care about anything than finding someone to begin a relationship with. And I suppose there is something else in my mind.

 

The other thing in my mind is the following: when it comes to helping the world, I think I am just trying to understand it all. It is taking an immense amount of time. I wish there was a better way. Economics and politics are probably the only stuff that I am lacking. I often find that the wealthy care little about the rest of the world. To try and fix that is rather complicated but I shall keep learning. I am not sure what else is out there still and I can't speak before I have read all books concerning the issue.

 

It is amazing how little there is other than me worrying about finding someone like you, oh dear lovely one. I guess I am back to you. The feelings are quite overwhelming. And yet I am happy and hopeful but I also do want to think about something else.

 

Maybe the only way I get to stop thinking about it is when I do find a girlfriend or something. Other than many other reasons, I guess the reason to stop thinking about girls is one of the reasons to find one. And yet I am happy and hopeful because I believe in my ability and persistence to accomplish just that.

 

I am going to work hard at it. I've been alone for a long time. It is now about time to get a bit more serious on the subject. I am a little scared. Falling in love with the right person hasn't been my strong suit. But something I must have learned. Definely something to think about. What have I learned?

 

It's been awhile since I asked life for someone like you, gorgeous girl. Your beauty is very common I feel, though you are indeed beautiful. But your type of character, your smarts and sensibilities, your tone of voice, your talent with music and the violin... those are really hard to find. I felt like I knew you so much.

 

I even asked life for someone better than you. But either I don't get to know girls very well or there is really not someone better than your or even just like you. Of course, you could be pretty silly now and then but it's been a long time since we had a conversation and I am starting to think the silly one was me all along.

 

What happens to a lonely heart? Haha. I am kind of cheesy. But a lonely heart must just whithered.

 

People say that love is like war and I think I am beginning to understand. To beat your enemy is to make them fall for you. Love might be like war but the consequences are quite different. Love's consequences are of the sweet kind and that which gives vitality to the heart.

 

Dear lovely one, I might not be in love with you anymore. But I do still admire the girl that you were when I met you years ago. Of course, I shouldn't probably be thinking about you. But it is not like I can help it. Maybe someday when I am not so lonely anymore, I won't have a reason to think of you.

 

This might be cliche but thanks for teaching me how love feels like.

 

Once I thought to myself that love was so common. That all the people did it and that perhaps I shall devote my time to something with more novelty. But perhaps love is the only force that which drives our fragile bodies, the only type of fuel that our body runs on might be love and that there is really few to no alternatives. It is no different for my body.

 

I am people.

 

Maybe I should put myself in danger. Surely, survival takes precedence over reproduction. I do need a break from all these mushy feelings.

 

How painful my fate is when it comes to women. There must be someone somewhere who can grab for herself in my heart a better title than "oh dear lovely one". And whom I can hopely do a similar trick for. But of course, this might all just come after much hard work. Better get used to working.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Comments (2)

  1. Helikaon

    Word.

    May 12, 2017
    1. Dino01

      This post is like something Helga from Hey Arnold might have written.

      May 14, 2017